If you're reading this blog in chronological order, you probably have the impression that time is passing rather quickly. The reason? It has been almost two months since my last entry.
What can I say, I've been busy. Like I mentioned last time, I joined a community orchestra. September 13 was our concert, which turned out to be a great success. The 400-seat, beautiful, modern venue was pretty much sold out. Performing again (since my college days) was a great thrill; I had forgotten how much I enjoyed musically performing for an audience. I want it back. For good.
I suppose deep down, this passion for performing is like showing off, but in a good, productive way. An artist shows off his skills on stage, an athlete shows off hers in a stadium; as a result, people witness the wonders of someone doing something really, really well. For the performer, it's addictive.
So my next challenge, since I have no intention of joining Performers Anonymous, is to improve my skills in playing the cello to catch up with the skill level of the rest of the orchestra. Yes, I admit it, I need help. After all, my cello skills come from one year of monthly lessons, which aren't likely to put me side by side with Yo-Yo Ma or Jacqueline du Pré. Therefore, my next mission is to search for a cello instructor - I've got three lined up already.
One of the first things to correct is the tension I have when playing the cello. During the faster runs of a piece, my shoulders become as stiff as - well, insert here anything stiff you can think of. Even a beginner cellist like me knows that tension and stiffness in your body isn't likely to help produce beautiful musical tones.
And speaking of tension, I am reminded of my tennis instructor's comments about my forehand: I hit the shot "like a thalidomide baby," meaning that my arms and shoulder become so tense that I contract the elbow, thus producing one failed shot after another. When it comes to descriptive terms for my tennis skills, my instructor comes up with the most politically incorrect but at the same time very effective and imaginative words.
To sum all this up, I've come to appreciate that if I learn to relax with everything I do, I would do it all that much better, that much more effortlessly, which in turn would make me a better performer. So here's the problem, how? That's a tall order for someone who has been tense and uptight all his life (yes, I know myself well). Yoga? Taichi? Buddhism? I don't know which would work, but I thought I would try the American way - find a pill for my problems.
So if any of you know where I can find some chill pills, let me know. In the meantime, I will concentrate my efforts on learning how to relax, how to enjoy every moment of every wonderful and exciting thing that I do, and how to laugh (in a relaxing manner of course) at every mistake I make along the way. I also will have tennis and cello instructors to help me along the way.
I bet that as soon as I relax in one thing, be it cello, tennis, or life, everything else will follow smoothly and zenly along. Peace out.
