Everything started with a flyer in Paris in May, 2008.
Yesterday I had a moment.
For the past nine months, we have been working on getting rid of bad habits and developing new ones - that has been the most difficult thing. I have had to change the source of energy for my bowing arm from my fingers to my shoulders. I remember once in a lesson when I remarked to Irina that her arm was like a butterfly wing flapping so freely and effortlessly, whereas my arm was like... well, nevermind what mine looked like. Then it happened yesterday.
I willed all the energy into my shoulder and allowed my wrist to be like jello, merely an extension of the upper arm, and all of a sudden, I felt my shoulder become free, almost flying like that of Irina. I was so happy I screamed.
Once I finish writing this post, I will return to the cello again for the first time since that moment, and I will teach my arm and shoulder to take flight again.
But all of this reminds me of a comment someone made to me a few weeks ago when we were discussing how busy each of us was. When I related to her that I had a full schedule of activities planned for the summer, she was quick to remind me of the fact the things that kept me busy, such as tennis, cello, and script writing, were insignificant compared to what kept her busy - her children and family.
I didn't quite know how to respond initially, so I let it go, even though I knew there was something terribly wrong with her argument. After I hung up the phone, the response came quietly to me. While it is true that my activities are personal to only me and that they don't involve such grandiose efforts like taking care of children, they are still things important to me. They are more than hobbies or pastimes; I've learned perseverance, acceptance, forgiveness through them. They may not be as difficult, but they are important because I do them.
So while I don't need to make sure my cello or tennis balls are properly fed and bathed each day, nor do I dream about their applying to Harvard or Stanford one day, they are part of the many things that make up my life, and that gives them all the significance.
It's great to reflect on life to convince others.
Even more so to convince myself.
