Yes, it is true - I turned forty earlier this month.
But if you know me, you know that I don't particularly pay much attention to birthdays or holidays - whatever joy or celebratory feeling you get on those days should be maintained on every day of the year.
Instead, there are two dates of special significance to me - January 17, 2010 and today, October 31, 2013.
On January 17, 2010, I provided medical care to a patient for the last time in my life. Even though they say "once a doctor, always a doctor," I no longer considered myself one. Contrary to most people who have journeyed through medical school and coveted that symbolic white coat, I couldn't wait to shed that embroidered garment heavy from unwanted responsibility and lifelong expectation. I was halfway toward freedom.
Today, October 31, 2013, I finished my last day as a medical consultant, more than ready to put to rest the medical degree that has accompanied me for the last 18 years. Surprisingly, as it was on my birthday, I felt no particular joy or relief; it's just another phase of my life that has come to an end - just like going grade school, living under one roof with housemates, organizing a tennis tournament, or eating the most delicious meal - except that this thing lasted 18 fucking years. I will take another class at another time, will live under another roof with another person, will organize another event, and will eat another meal even more fabulous than the previous one. It's all to come.
Some people have asked me why I endured all these years of medical training and practice if I didn't enjoy it, and how I can throw it all away just like that. I suppose it might be something like an arranged marriage: you enter it not knowing what to expect but always hoping for the best, and if it doesn't work out, if you live through everyday hoping it would end that day, then, if you're lucky, you have the choice of ending that marriage, even though you don't know what the future has in store for you.
Luckily for me, I know what I have in store for my future. My first project after ending work at 2 p.m. today was to dream up an idea for my Halloween costume this evening. Dressing up as a doctor would have been a symbolic end, but that was too easy and expected. I looked through drawers and shelves around the house, hoping to be inspired by some forgotten item from the past - I found the sarong purchased on a Hawaii trip two years ago. That and the puka shell necklace given as a souvenir at the Luau I attended on the same trip would complete my ensemble. The best part of this was that it wasn't something I would have done in the past.
I quickly found instructions on sarong tying on Youtube and, after a matter of minutes, mastered the technique of arranging a large, colorful diaper around my hips. I briefly contemplated going commando but ultimately decided on briefs.
So now it is 10:31 pm on October 31, 2013. I am another day older. I am one career older. And I am one great Halloween costume and party older. The future will be tricky, but there will be no tricks. Because the next marriage is not arranged. It is for love.
And it will be full of treats.
